Escape North Carolina

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Great Strides

Welcome to North Carolina

Do you want to get away? Longing to escape from the everyday hum-drum? Maybe you’re looking for a place where skies shimmer with the beautiful haze of unbridled free-market pollution, a place devoid of logic and reason, a secret garden that’s unburdened with old-fashioned ideals like Civil Rights and basic human compassion. If this sounds like some imaginary Paradise, then you’re in for a surprise– it’s all right here in North Carolina! Within the state’s pulchritudinous 53,819 sq miles, North Carolina boasts three aging nuclear plants, more than seventy egregiously regulated coal ash dump sites, and a long, rich heritage of subjugation and questionable ethics.


Take a long, hard look around and see what else North Carolina has to offer and we hope you’ll consider making your escape today!

Find out what North Carolina has in store for you:


Visit North Carolina’s wonderful variety of occasionally OSHA-compliant attractions.
Discover NC attractions


Find North Carolina family-friendly fallacious festivities 365 days a year.
Browse NC events


Experience North Carolina’s rich Southern heritage, traditions & world-renown inhospitality.
Reveal NC secrets

Paradise awaits!

"An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth—a fact that is recognized by the law of libel."

Samuel Langhorne Clemens

"I have been up to see the Congress and they do not seem to be able to do anything except to eat peanuts and chew tobacco, while my army is starving."

Robert Edward Lee

"We started a little slow, but we kept growing as the game went on. We got the momentum back, but it was cold out there and we had to get warmed up. It took a couple drives to get ready, but we finally got the running game going and started moving the ball down the field."

T.J. Yates

"Son, there ain’t no such thing as North Carolina! That’s just Upper South Carolina!"

Honorable Beauregard Claghorn